There’s No Insurance For Heartbreak

Although there’s no insurance for heartbreak, people suggest it’s a good idea to wear your heart on your sleeve. The reality is that someone might:

  1. steal your jumper
  2. not give it back

We invented the wheel, managed to put a man on the moon and have designed computer systems capable of speech recognition (yay Siri). Overall, seems to me we’re a clever species.

So, my question is why do we continue to subject ourselves to the potential risk and misfortune of what can only be described as the inexplicable yearning to find our other half? Unfortunately, I don’t have an answer for you.

Alas, maybe trick to maintaining your cool is leaving fate altogether to a fortunate stroke of serendipity. On the other hand serendipity seems a far too convenient option and to be frank gen y’s have no patience for this sort of thing.

Let me illustrate by taking a few leaves out of Disney’s storybook…

Perhaps, it was suffice for Rapunzel to sit in her tower for decades before Prince Charming turned up but I suspect that if we were to compare this to modern day dating woes, by now our buddy Rapunzel would be doing cartwheels in her tower and painting the town red.

Sleeping Beauty fell asleep to kill time which is an excellent choice for anyone who isn’t committed to full time work, completing a degree and winning the noble peace prize in the same year. Expectations are sky-high in the 21st century so make sure you don’t drop the ball while you’re scrolling through social media diligently observing everyone else’s lives.

Cinderella ‘lost’ her shoe. This seems like a good strategy except given my earlier point about wearing your heart on your sleeve I would rather play it safe (and besides, Valentino’s are expensive).

Lastly, Princess Jasmine teaches us that it may be worthwhile investing in a pet tiger to keep you company whilst you’re waiting.

When you get caught in the crossfire of collateral break up damage other remedies include:

  • indulging is shitty rom coms
  • downloading terrible things such as Tinder
  • reaching level 283 sarcasm when family wonder why you’re not married yet

Obviously this is a non exhaustive list.

Human relationships are fragile and the journey is always a precarious one no matter how strong two individuals may be. Even the most tenacious creatures learn to let go eventually and walk the line. So yes, tantrum throwing is acceptable when it doesn’t work out.

There’s no insurance for heartbreak even though they tend to self destruct when you’re not looking. You could be too distracted rendering future prospects and slip into a state of being all too comfortable. Nevertheless we keep our chin up and hope for the best.

NB: This tale was written in lieu of a 3000 word Foundations of Law assignment

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